My so-called influencer life

What a wild ride, but was it good for me?

Photo by Chris Liverani on Unsplash

My influencer chapter. Like many things in my life, I just sorta fell into it.

Around 2013, I started out, as many people did, just posting pics and adding a border (remember the borders!?) and having fun, not thinking about it too hard. And as time went on, because I started mostly posting food and drink photos, without realizing I doing it, sort of placed myself into that niche. At the time, I had become extremely interested in cooking, Baltimore had a lot of new restaurants to try and more and more people were using Instagram, so posting food content made sense for me. I really and truly loved it and I love my city, so telling people about great food and drinks and the people creating them felt right.

At a certain point, because of my numbers and relationships I had with both public relations pros and people in the hospitality industry, I was invited to a lot of things. (I was told that I was in a category of “micro-influencer” which just means I had a strong following in a specific niche or area of interest in a specific market.) For a while, it was fun – and sometimes a little heady – to be included in events that felt special and somewhat exclusive. My favorite thing – to this day – is having someone show me around their a new restaurant or bar as they are building it out. That feels so, so special.

The more events and dinners I attended (and shared in my feed), the more “out there” I became. People I didn’t know seemed to know me. One thing I did like about that was when they would say, “I went to (insert one of my favorite restaurants) and it was as good as you described – thank you!” I’d always thank them for supporting good, hard working people.

One thing about the restaurant business, they ALWAYS need more guests and positive reviews. I mean, if you have a good experience at a local restaurant, it’s important that you try your best to go again and also you tell everyone who will listen how good it is. Dinners can be expensive, but creating a social media post or even better, a Google review, is FREE. I have to get back to creating those. My friends in the industry tell me all the time how good a positive review feels.

Okay, I’ve gotten a little off track here. Back to how to make Instagram FUN AGAIN. How? Start over? Change gears? I knew something had to change in a big way because I was not happy and particularly inspired. I didn’t want to be known as a “food personality” and I certainly didn’t want to go out multiple nights a week and it was all feeling more like something I “had” to do vs. “got” to do.

Here’s when I knew that something definitely needed to change for me. At the very last media dinner I attended around 2017/2018, a couple of influencers rolled into the restaurant and immediately demanded the attention of the room. They were so disruptive to the dinner, did not listen to the chef as he described the menu and even took it upon themselves to order additional items from the menu, even though there was a lovely and plentiful family style supper right in front of all of us. I knew the chef and we exchanged glances like WHAT THE F and I felt so bad for him, his staff and the nice PR person who had invited everyone. They all had put a lot of work into the evening. I had another thing to get to, which was a nice out, so I put $20 under my water glass for a tip for the server, thanked the staff and left.

Photo by Eaters Collective on Unsplash

A few months later, I permanently deleted my IG with nearly 20,000 followers.

And, since hindsight is 20/20, I probably should have kept my original IG instead of just deleting it and starting over. But I didn’t want to deal with doing the clean up I needed to do, like muting people and removing followers (blocking was the only real option back then). But starting over had its own good feelings. Fresh start, clean slate, all that. If I’m being completely transparent, I did have pangs of “oh, I’m not relevant anymore”. I also considered . . .“should I keep doing this food stuff? I’m not making money, really, other than the occasional paid writing gig. Is it worth the time, care and effort I put in? Does it even matter? Existential stuff. (hahaha) I realized that having attention and an audience had somehow made me feel validated as a person and that is a big, fat ICK.

One thing I want to say is that if a person decides they want to be Insta-famous, that’s fine, but you need to own it. And if your niche is food, you have to remember that the hospitality industry is one of the hardest businesses out there and if you are trying to make a name for yourself, you have to be NICE. Thank everyone and go out of your way to acknowledge the work that goes into creating a meal or experience. That is hugely helpful to creating real relationships in any industry, really. Just be nice.

One thing I think about a lot is the fact that when I wake up the morning after a great night out, I think about it and then go on about my day. People working in restaurants (and cafes, bars, bakeries, breweries and on and on) get up the next morning and do it all over again. They have to. They create great food and drinks, make their next round of guests happy and comfortable…that is their job. I have so much respect for that.

So, with time, I became much happier with my life without all of noise of being in the influencer world, even the small one I was a part of in Baltimore. I still struggle with the most healthy way use Instagram. (Is there one?) My IG now feels intimate and real, like I could actually engage with people there more. And I’m still connected with the restaurant folks I got to know well over the years and I can still see what they are up to. That feels really good. On the other side of the coin, there are plenty of folks in the restaurant industry who will never see me as “me”, I’m still Charm City Cook to them, and that’s fine.

One new thing, my Instagram is now private and pretty much everyone who follows me or I follow back are people I actually know. Not all, but I’d say about 80%. That is my comfort zone. And, I am using Instagram differently these days, not posting as often, taking extended breaks. I don’t miss the old influencer days, but, I am thankful that I got to have such fun and delicious adventures and learn so much – feeding my natural curiosity – and, let’s be honest, eat so well – thank you, chefs! There are many, many people who are in my life thanks to Instagram of all things, it’s crazy to think that I wouldn’t have met them had I not had the influencer chapter of my life. Weird.

I’m not big on looking back or feeling regretful. I think that every experience teaches you something and I try to take those lessons and apply them to the future. Move ahead. Learn, move on, do better. I’m just trying my best to be happy and kind. That’s enough for me.

Thank you for reading!
xo

Amy